It's as if it's a part of me now. The horizons that are seemingly as boundless as the same horizons within. Unobstructed by mans interference. Representing the clarity within that I long for, within every moment that's filled with the noise of the Great Social Construct. Those open plains are within my very being now.
Recently I struck a bargain with myself. That being my return to the Great Social Construct. In return for the comfort of the most basic of mans sustenance. Food, shelter and clothing. For in this realm of our being these things that seem to me that should be free to every sentient being. For mankind we've accepted the concept of price. And I'm attempting to pay my way in this realm. To simply pay the price of admission. But the desert keeps interrupting my thoughts and desires. I long for the stillness within. I long for the stillness of the desert as well. For now it's the icon of my awareness of life, and the freedom of the Great Social Construct.
To know the stars as they are in the desert sky. To know the air of the hot blowing desert wind. These are to know ones self as a pure and simple human life experience within the realm of this world as we know it. To be free of the shackles of the social insanity. To be pure in the moment of now.
To walk the desert floor with awareness is to know that each step that we take in this life offers consequence to that which surrounds us. That no man is an island at all. It's to know experientially that the all is the one, that with every action there is in fact a reaction for which we alone are responsible.
I long for a walk through the desert again. But what I truly long for is simple and pure awareness of my being. A mans solitude in the desert reflects this. It does so without any question of truth of the fact that we are. We are so much more than the Great Social Construct. Within each is the all of what is. This is the desert for any man to walk in solitude and to know as the truth of his being,
I'm haunted now by the desert. Like an accident that interrupted my truth and experience on the highway of life as it's commonly known. I walk among you on crutches that you can not see. As I reengage the Great Social Construct. I stepped out of the box of conditioning. I've seen the true light of a day in this realm of existence. I've been pure in my being and now I carry the scar of awareness. It creeps into my consciousness at times most inconvenient.
And for this I am filled with a gratitude beyond gratitude. A joy of simple being beyond any joy commonly known to man. I'm haunted by the desert in all of these days, as I attempt to reengage the Great Social Construct.
I don't know yet if I can, or if I even truly want to be with you now. The desert is within me. The conditioning of a lifetime is clear. And it's now clear as the desert skies within all who I encounter in each day that I attempt to reengage.
During this time of writing, I honestly don't know what my future will bring. This reality you know of as being the truth, is only an illusion to me now. I'm trying my best, but the desert keeps calling me back. I want to walk in the moment of the purity of now once again. I'm not at all certain that I can do this.
I long for the open skies to see, the simple grounds to walk, the pure air to breathe into my being.
Now I'm haunted by the desert within.